Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Blog #21: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO HEAD AND HEART

At the conclusion of my second ever adult tennis tournament, the Beverly Hills 5.5 division, I had one major belief of mine about tennis and all of sports confirmed: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO HEAD AND HEART. Borris Becker used to say the fifth set has very little to do with tennis, and now I fully know what he meant. What it has to do with is who battles more, who wants it more, who maintains composure, and who is willing to believe and go for it when it matters most.

I knew going in to Saturday morning that I would need to win three matches in about 24 hours if I were to come away with the trophy. I was scheduled to play the quarters Saturday morning, the semi’s Saturday night, and the finals Sunday morning if I made it. Having watched several of my prospective opponents, I was struck by how equal we all were. None of us was good enough to blow the other off the court. The matches would be close, and they would come down to a point here or there.

It would all come down to who competed best.

Very similar to the top level of the pros (at a SLIGHTLY different level, however).

My quarterfinal match on Saturday morning turned in to everything I did not want it to be: an absolute marathon and war. In the third set alone, I had to call the umpire three times because of my opponent’s line calls. It tested every ounce of my physical and emotional reserves. Once I saw him begin to cramp at 3-3 in the third, though, I knew it was mine for the taking. At that moment I fully got how tennis is a one-on-one battle, and so much of it comes down to who is willing to pay the bigger price.

After prevailing in an epic 6-4 in the third battle, I went home and got horizontal and got has many fluids and foods in my body as possible. When I showed up for my semi final match that night, every muscle in my body was on the brink of cramping. I came armed with tons of Gatorade and ridiculous amounts of bananas. Every changeover I was chugging fluids and downing bananas.

When I found out that instead of playing a three hour morning match, my opponent had a walkover, I thought I stood zero chance.
After winning the first, I got down early in the second and decided if I were to have any chance at all in the decider, I basically had to tank the rest of the second set. I lost it 6-1, but had a tough time re-starting and quickly found myself down 4-0 in the third.

It was at that moment that I made the conscious decision that I refused to go down easy. It would have been so easy, quick, and painless to lose two more games, but thinking of what Rafa would do, I battled back and won 6-4 in the third!

I am still not sure it was worth the pain.


That night I could barely sleep from over-exhaustion. I was sure I would have absolutely nothing left for the finals. I especially felt this way when I agreed to do my opponent a favor and play the match at 7 a.m. since he had to be at work.

When I got myself out of bed at 5 am. And it was still dark, I deeply questioned whether any of this was worth it.

But, I finally decided I had not come this far to go away easy. Thank GOD, I won the finals in straight sets 6-3, 6-3. Thank GOD it was a short, and relatively painless match. But at 3-3 in the second when I faced 5 break points and had to battle out a 10 minute service game, I did have to dig deep. I did have to compete. I needed to use MY HEAD and HEART. I broke his will.

For there was very little difference in tennis ability between any of us in the draw.

As Becker said, the difference did not come down to tennis.

I find this to be true beyond the tennis court. What makes Cliff Lee so incredible in the playoffs? When he goes in to Yankee stadium and blanks them, it is because he BELIEVES he will and THRIVES off pressure. What makes Kobe or Lebron who they are? It is not merely God-given talent. It how hard they work and compete. It is their heads and hearts.

I would venture to say that is also probably true of amazing CEO's or fathers, or mothers or teachers or doctors. It always comes down to doing OUR very best. Pushing ourselves to the limit, whether we we or not. As long as we compete OUR best and use our head and hearts, we can be proud.

I bet it is true in almost EVERY area of our lives.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Blog # 20: What Would Rafa Do?

As I played in my second ever adult tournament last weekend in Beverly Hills, I needed to utilize every possible physical and mental resource (even ones I didn’t know I had) to get through the match. I was playing in the 5.5 division (one below the open level), and in my first round match I unfortunately ran into a 6 foot 3 Lithuanian who played college tennis at LMU. What a draw!

No time to ease into this tournament.

Luckily he was playing his first tournament in a while and came out rustier than the Tin Man. I won the first set 6-4 and thought I was well on my way to a straight sets W. Unfortunately, my opponent got much of the rust off, and as soon as the second set began, I knew I was in for a war. He took the second set 6-3, and we were set to go the distance.
Up until this time, it was a friendly match with great calls (I even think he gave me some pretty generous calls), but things quickly began to heat up in the deciding set. He hit a few balls early in the set that just missed, and when I called them out, he started to give second glances. Then, midway through the set, when I was serving at 2-2 40-15, I hit a first serve that he swung at, broke his string, and missed in the net. The serve was either on the back line or perhaps slightly long, but he played it, so I started walking to change sides.

As he was walking to get a new racket, he surprised me when he said, “oh, your serve was long.” I was shocked. I told him even if it were, it does not matter because he played it. This clearly angered him. The next game, when he hit a few balls way out, and I did not bother to say “out” he said, you didn’t make a call (even though they were well out and I was not making a play on the ball). Also, every time I missed he shouted “out!”

This started to make me mad. He would not let it go.

Then, came the big moment. It was 4-4 deuce and I was serving. It was the point of the match; he was running me ragged and I was retrieving like a mad man. I hit a short ball and he pounds his approach to my forehand. I run over, and with my last ounce of energy, hit a passing shot that he dives for and gets by him. I give a huge c’mon! because the ball landed well inside the line. But then I hear “out!”

First of all, I know that there is no way he could have seen where it landed because he was too busy face planting, and secondly, I knew it was a good couple FEET in. I try not to, but I start to go ballistic. I threaten to get an umpire unless he will change his call, and since he won’t, I go get an umpire. I later realized this may have been a mistake, because there is no way she can over-turn the call (and there is also no way I can get REVENGE and call his next two shots out to get to ad-in where we should be!!!). I have to play it as ad-out and I am so distraught that I lose the next point to get broken and go down 4-5.

I walked to the bench at the changeover fuming and ready to quit. I was going to hit four balls over the fence at walk off in a fury without shaking his hand. I had had it. But then a simple thought came to me:

WHAT WOULD RAFA DO?

He would not quit. He would not let a bad call get the better of him. He would be resilient and break back. Instead of WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, I had to reframe the question to: what would my sports idol do? What would the greatest competitor in the world do?

I broke back, and ended up winning 12-10 in the breaker after saving four match points.

THAT is what Rafa would have done.

AD OUT….

Monday, September 20, 2010

Blog # 19: Why Rafa is my Idol and what we can all learn from him

As I watched Rafa fall to the hard courts in New York last Monday night after defeating Djokovic (by the way, major, major props to Djoko, and I hope he finally starts to get the respect he deserves!), one word came to mind: WOW. Wow, wow, wow.

Just when I think I can't possibly respect, love, and admire the guy any more, he tops himself once again. Just when I think my adoration for him has hit its limit, he goes and gets his career slam. Wow.

And, as always, it is not merely that he came out victorious, it is the WAY he wins. It is the WAY he goes about everything that I treasure and attempt to emulate.

For example, early on in the tournament it is watching him play Istomin and beat him in three close sets and having that match represent everything that is great about sports. Both men were applauding one another's efforts, both men refused to quit or lie down, and when they embraced at the net at the end, it was a genuine embrace of care and respect.

After the final, it is seeing Rafa go out of his way to praise Djoko's attitude and acknowledge how hard it is to lose a slam final. He complimented Novak and said how great his attitude and approach was for kids to see. He didn't have to mention that in his moment of glory. It would have been easy to make it all about himself.

Rafa always goes out of his way to praise his opponent, to show them RESPECT before any match (even a first round match against number 200 in the world), and never to take anyone for granted. He plays every match, nearly every point, with a PASSION and INTENSITY that we all could bring to our jobs. I get the feeling he actually enjoys the PROCESS of each match, each challenge, instead of merely looking to the product or end result.

I believe him when he says "I tried my best" and therefore has nothing to feel badly about after a hard-fought loss. I believe him when he says what he loves most about tennis (and what he missed most when he was out with his knee injury) is the COMPETITION, and not the winning. I can see how seriously he takes PRACTICE and never settles for good enough.

He is constantly looking for ways to get better and is never, ever complacent. Just look at what he has done for his volleys and his serve this past year. Look at what he has done at Wimbledon. Not bad for a clay-courter. The truly great ones in any profession are never stagnant.

All I have to know about Rafa is how he plays break points against him on his serve as well as any huge point in a match. He gets even more aggressive and gutsy when it really, really matters. If he is going to go down, it will not be out of fear, but will be on his terms. All I need to know about Rafa is how he plays the points or the games right after a bad moment. Just watch how he bounces back. That is resilience.

He literally crushes the will of his opponents (think Djoko in the 4th set). One moment from the final captures much of this. It was one set all and Djoko had just salvaged an unbelievable hold (Rafa-esque) to make it 4-3 and Rafa's serve. Novak played three great points to get it to 15-30, and this was his moment. This was his chance. What happens next? Three unreturnable serves. Fitting that the aspect he worked on most and practiced hardest saves him. 5-3, and Djoko's will is broken.

Match over. Career Slam. Slam #9 at age 24.

Wow.

AD OUT...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Blog # 18: What a War it is Out There (reflections from my own tournament and the 2010 US Open)

As I watched Ferrer and Verdasco relentlessly go at one another for over four hours last night in the round of 16 before Verdasco fell to the floor in celebration after a ridiculous passing shot to win it, I couldn't help but sit in awe and amazement. This was after Stan the Man had taken down Querrey in a nearly five hour epic battle.

I could barely walk or get off the couch myself, because I had played my first ever adult tennis tournament at the 5.5 level. It was the Santa Monica tourni, and I won in the finals 6-3 7-6 (5) against an 18 year-old who ran every single ball down and could play forever. Me, about to turn 33, thought I was in pretty darn good shape, but you simply don't recover in your mid 30's like we did as kids.

Playing in my own tournament gave me a whole new appreciation for what these guys do. I only played 2 out of 3 sets, and by the end of the tournament I felt like I was going to pass out. These guys do it at a much, much higher level for 3 out of 5 in front of thousands of people.

Wow, is it hard out there. Wow, is it a war out there.

To think, Verdasco's reward is to play Rafa less than 48 hours later. Some gift. Some reward.

Playing in my own tournament also gave me an appreciation of just how gutsy you have to be on the big points, when it really really matters. The only reason I was able to pull out that tie-breaker in the finals was because I was simply more willing to go for it. Every ounce in my body wanted to play it safe and be more passive, but I realized I HAD to actually be MORE aggressive on the big points.

I had to play big man's tennis when it mattered most. That is what these guys do when the stakes are 1000 times higher. That takes guts. That takes courage.

That one-on-one battle for over four hours where they both leave their heart on the court is why I love tennis. That is why I consider it the greatest sport in the world.

And that is very much like our own lives. We need to be gutsy and take chances when we may want to be passive. We need to keep fighting when we are down and losing and want to quit. We need to be perseverant and heroic and always continue to battle. We need to COMPETE.

Ad OUT...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Blog # 17: Defending Andy Roddick (sort of) from Critics

As I watched Roddick sadly go down to Tipsarevic last night and lose his cool at the poor lineswoman who called a foot fault against him, I couldn't help but feel for the guy. I also couldn’t help but get angry when sports fans who know next to nothing about tennis rip into him and call him a failure and disgrace to his sport.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am by no means excusing or defending his conduct last night; it was completely wrong of him to lay into that woman, and once again, he showed he has a very difficult time letting things go on the court. He acted poorly in the heat of the battle. But, that by no means takes away from the fact that he has been in the top 10 seven straight years, he has loyally and faithfully played Davis Cup for his country, he is a good ambassador to the game, he is funny, charming, and classy off the court, and when he messes up on the court, he admits it and apologizes.

We are all human. We all get carried away and say and do the wrong thing at times. I wish Roddick could be as classy as Federer or Rafa on the court, but let's not get carried away with bashing him. When I walked into work today at Brentwood School to teach my English course, several of my colleagues were lambasting him and scoffing at his career.

Do they know how hard it is to be in the top 10 seven straight years?

Do they know how many slams Roddick might have won were it not for Rafa and Roger? How frustrating that must be? I know that doesn’t excuse being a jerk on the court, but can we cut him a LITTLE slack?

Don't get me wrong, there have been three or four times where I have seen him behaving in a less than an ideal manner. But he has always been sincere in his remorse and apology afterwards. As humans, I think it is admirable to admit when we are wrong and try to make amends.

Now, Andy clearly is at a crossroads in his career and he needs to get back to playing AGRESSIVE tennis where he FLATTENS out a big forehand to hit WINNERS and not get into cute rallies with these guys.

But, let's not erase and defame a man's whole career and character based on a few bad moments on the court.

Aren't we bigger than that?

AD OUT...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Blog # 16: Learning from Mardy Fish: It is never too late to make the hard choices that will change your life forever

As I watched the Cincinnati final last weekend between Mardy Fish and Roger Federer, I couldn't help but marvel at Fish's comeback and be inspired by what he has done. About a year ago, Fish was at his lowest point in his tennis career; he was overweight, he was facing an imminent knee surgery, and people continued to say he would never, ever live up to his high potential as a tennis player.

Mardy says he had one of those life moments. You know the kind. Where you look at yourself in the mirror and see two potential roads you may head down. Road one (unfortunately often the easier one and road of least resistance) is where you keep doing what you have been and continue to head down this dark path. Road two, the road you know will be the toughest journey you have ever embarked upon, is your new path. It will lead you on a scary and unknown journey, but it is the the road you know you need to be on. You were meant to be on it.

Fish looked at himself in the mirror and contemplated retirement. But he ultimately decided to use this dark time as a learning opportunity. As a chance to change his life. He decided to go through with the surgery and to lose 25 pounds in recovery, to get more fit than he has ever been, and to give his tennis career one last full blown go. He knew he had the physical talent, and now that he had hit rock bottom, he was ready to put in the work. To do the really really hard stuff. The kind of work that is most rewarding.

I had a similar moment about six years ago in my own life. I had always been a heavy drinker and loved to party on the weekends, and I could see what it was doing to me and where I was headed. When I woke up the morning of December 3 2004, I looked myself in the mirror just as Mardy did. I knew I could either continue on the path of destruction, or make the hardest changes of my life. Like Mardy, I chose the harder, but more rewarding journey. It was the most important moment in my life.

This is why I am pulling for Mardy Fish as he heads into the 2010 US Open.


Because he teaches us all it is never too late to make difficult and critical changes.

What difficult and important changes do you need to make as you look in the mirror?

Ad OUT...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Blog #15 Top 10 take-aways from Toronto 2010

1. Murray is the best player in the world on hard courts when he plays agressively. He could win majors and be #1 if he always played that way. Unfortunately, 90 percent of the time against 90 percent of opponents, he doesn't need to, so he has a hard time MAKING himself be aggressive.

2. Fed is not all the way back. He still is seriously lacking confidence and making way, way too many unforced errors. But, when he is making a large percentage of first serves, he is so so hard to beat. He will NOT win the Open.

3. Rafa is still incredibly vulnerable on the hard stuff. Anyone who hits hard, flat enough, and big enough can beat him on any given day.

4. Djoko still completely lacks confidence and no one takes him seriously as #2 in the world. He has not beaten ANYONE in the top 10 the ENTIRE year. He is so so fragile emotionally. He has all of the weapons to be #1, but not the mental toughness.

5. If Nalbandian lost 10 more pounds and kept working hard, he can win a major and get into the top 5. He would stay more healthy, and no one is better than him when he is on.

6. Berdych is the real deal and will win a slam. He now has won me over because he has learned what it means to COMPETE.

7. Dologolpov is perhaps the best young player in the game and will get to the top 15.

8. Cilic is in a world of trouble and had better get it going FAST.

9. Sod is still way, way too up and down.

10. DavyD may never get back to the top 8, no matter how many thousands of tourni's he plays every year!